In the course of the move, I found Mom's fondue pot and all the bits for it, so we had A Very 70s New Year. I used the Joy of Cooking cheese fondue recipe, and it tasted
fine, but the cheese never fully integrated with the liquids, so what you had was a thinner somewhat-cheesy-flavored wine top section and a cheese sludge below. What's up with that? Longer cooking needed? I was using half Emmenthal and half Gruyere, which is AIUI canonical, so I don't think it's a type-of-cheese problem.
Started the evening with Denis Leary's Merry Fucking Xmas, which I only caught part of due to nursing fondue along, but what I did
catch was awesome; I would so
bear his children. (Engage rant about Beth having an elevator ride with him WHEN I WASN'T THERE hmph.) We then proceeded to Fantastic Four. It was surprisingly entertaining, actually. I expected to be far more annoyed by it, particularly since dariodevil
had just lent me Waid's most excellent run on the comic, but it was in good fun and most of the differences were not wholly egregious. The weakest part was unquestionably Doom (not the actor's fault--he seemed to be doing exactly what the script & director demanded), and the strongest part Ben and Johnny, both individually and together. Ioan Gruffudd did a better job as Reed than I ever expected; not because I don't love him, I certainly do, but it seemed a woeful miscasting. The performance lacked Reed's self-assurance, but again, that's what the moviemakers seemed to want, as his Character Arc[tm] was all about becoming confident and Winning The Chick and all that shite, so whatever. Jessica Alba was...kind of a cipher. While it's true that a big part of Sue's role in the family dynamic of the FF is to play mama to and mediator between the nerd, the tough guy, and the young punk, and this is something which borders on the stereotypical, she came off in this as Insert Stereotypical Female Bombshell Here, Oh And We'll Say She's A Scientist So We Don't Look Like Chauvinist Pigs, Even Though She Wears Everything Zipped To Her Solar Plexus To Show Off Her BQQBIES. Meh. Bleh. I think a better actress could have brought more chops to the part, though it would've been an uphill battle. Rambling aside, it was a fun beer & pretzels movie.
Eli's review: "Doom is not referring to himself in the third person nearly
And then, into the abyss that is Van Helsing.
I knew it was bad. Everyone said it was bad. I just had no notion exactly how bad it could be with a budget like that. And Hugh Jackman. HUGH fucking JACKMAN. They put him in a movie and made him utterly unattractive to me
. That's a whole dimension of suck which is not detectable by our primitive science. And when I say it is jaw-droppingly terrible, I mean that literally; my mouth was hanging open at parts. What a complete train wreck. And poor David Wenham went from Faramir to this
shitburger? Honey, what kind of blackmail material could they possibly
have had over you? No hooker photos could be worth this. Really.
Eli's review: "The Vatican wanted to kill off Dracula because he'd stolen all the gay in Europe."