A question of boundaries.

[serinde]

It's actually a serious poll, this. I really would like people's input.

You've been chatting with someone online, primarily through IM, for 4-6 weeks give or take; mostly platonic, with a touch of extremely non-serious flirting. Though it's been casual discussion for the most part, there have been exchanges of Deep Thoughts and personal foo, as IM conversations are prone to. You have gleaned through these conversations that your correspondent's life path has been a rocky one, to put it mildly, and in many ways still is, particularly at home. (Your correspondent is younger than you, though full adult even by USian standards.)

Suddenly, your correspondent falls off the net, and has not been seen in any of the usual haunts for several weeks, as best you can tell--this being someone who would be online for hours every day. You're more than a bit concerned on account of what you know of the other's precarious situation, though you have no reason to suspect anything has actually happened, other than this sudden vanishment. You have your correspondent's phone number, which was posted to a blog some weeks before the two of you "met".

[Poll #214042]

Comments

[blarglefiend.livejournal.com]

How much of a privacy-fanatic is this person? Presumably not a *lot* if they've posted their phone number online. Mostly I don't see a huge down-side to making the call if you don't think they're going to freak out about you having the number in the first place -- at worst you imply you care more than maybe you do, so maybe there's potential there for weirdness, but any sane and rational person is going to at least appreciate the intent.

(I think it would be different if they had gone out of their way to hide their contact information.)

I hope that makes some sort of sense.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

How much of a privacy-fanatic is this person?

The topic has never come up in conversation; the blog in question has a fair amount of personal history one would definitely consider private, so as you say, presumably not a lot. But the step between online and real-life contact is of course a vast one, and may cause shock or discomfort. Or maybe I'm over-delicate. (That'd be a first.)

[reddragdiva]

'It depends,' but I'd lean towards door 2.

[missionista.livejournal.com]

I don't think it would be a horrible intrusion, since this person has posted their phone # on line. However, if you are worried that it might be a big nothing, or that your calling would make things worse, is there a way you can send a private message to this person only, giving your phone #? That way she/he can call you if necessary.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

is there a way you can send a private message to this person only, giving your phone #?

I don't know of any way that isn't Internet-based, alas.

[missionista.livejournal.com]

Have you asked for them to tehir other friends on-line? "Hey, ahs anyone heard from XYZ lately?" Maybe someone else knows more details and can let you know if this person is OK.