I Guess It's Time For A Real Update

[serinde]

I haven't said much of consequence for quite some time (and have been poor at answering email &c, for which I submit a blanket apology). I've been a little bit withdrawn and, hmm, encapsulated for the past month and change, and for the most part felt a strange aversion to opening up the cocoon around my emotional state. Then, while in England, I had a terrible time trying to sleep; I assumed that I was just having time zone adjustment issues, but on the last night of the visit I finally realized I had been sublimating anxiety...I don't think we can call them attacks, per se; a whispering campaign maybe? Part of it is upcoming work drama (we are moving the Help Desk next month, and there is all kinds of ancillary chaos, destruction, and politics to go with it), but most of it has been about me, and where I'm going, and what I'm doing next. See, once it became clear that the housing market was having all the flow of treacle, I put it all out of my head with the figuring that I would deal with it after the New Year; and thus, once the holidays arrived, a giant pie of The Future Is Now was smashed in my face.

So I've been processing all that, and weathering variably-powered attacks of "what am I doing", "am I doing it wrong", and "lo, they shall find my abandoned corpse chewed by wild dogs", which I guess means I am finally taking the training wheels off the bicycle of my emotional maturity. Steve and I discussed the state of our non-liquid assets, and he is encouraging me to go ahead and get an apartment without waiting for the house to sell, so I am shifting into Serious Cat Is Serious About Apartment Listings mode (instead of just casually dorking around on Craigslist, making fun of the shyster listings--hey kids, did you know that Fifth Ave. just north of Washington Square is part of SoHo?).

[Poll #1324721]

So that's what's going on here. I'm still feeling a bit drained and of limited verbiage, but I wuv you all, every one.

Comments

[dagnycat522.livejournal.com]

Having done the NYC apartment hunt many times in the past few years this is my advice for hunting, although it is probably only applicable to the boroughs, as Manhattan is I suspect, a whole different country.

Yes, you can do it without a broker, on a budget, no matter what anyone says, but it is incredibly frustrating, and keep in mind that you are often dealing with owners who don't really know what they're doing/aren't professional/don't speak much English. I've done it twice, but both times were when my budget was smaller and I didn't really care as much about location or features such as being able to open the refridgerator door all the way.

I would go with a broker. The broker fee I paid to get my last apartment was the best money I spent. If you do wind up looking in Astoria or the surrounding Queens area, let me know. I know a bunch of people there who would be able to give oodles of apartment advice.

[elibalin.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what the state of things are like now, but when I was apartment hunting eight years ago, pretty much everything listed as "no broker," was actually an enticement to pay a fee to simply look at listings of apartments a middleman claimed to be representing. Many, if not all, of said apartments might not even exist, let alone be on the market at all.

[elibalin.livejournal.com]

Also: smaller space, nicer area. A larger space in a place with few amenities or entertainments will only compel you to fill that space with useless stuff.

[missionista.livejournal.com]

Normally, I would say to get the largest place possible, and who cares about the neighborhood. However, I suspect that the apartment you get now will not be the apartment you live in forever and ever. So, with that in mind, I would say get something small, cute, bijoux, that you love and is totally all about you, and that is a convenient commute for work/friends/lovers/aikido/etc. Eventually, when you are clearer about your emotional and life path, and once the house has sold (and it will!), then you can get a huge place in a marginal neighborhood and fill it with all the people and stuff you want.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

A place with amenities and entertainments will encourage me to go out and spend money, is what I'm afraid of; whereas if I have a space I can use to set up as a sewing/painting area... At least that was my logic.

[blarglefiend.livejournal.com]

Obviously no clue re: brokers, completely alien concept, so no vote there.

Smaller but more usefully-located is IMO the better option, particularly for a first place. You'll get a clearer idea of what you absolutely need and what you can live without with a bit of time and can then apply that to the next place, but having a commute from hell is, in my experience, more likely to drive a person batshit insane than not having enough space at home to do absolutely everything.

Of course there's small and then there's small. I've seen some places here recently that were really far too small for anyone but a tiny student priced at "Daddy is rich and footing the bill". Or possibly "we are sleeping four to a bed". But there's a lot of that in our real-estate market right now.

[lillilah]

My thoughts on apartments: figure out about how much space you need beforehand. Joel and I need 500 sq ft. I feel that if one has a limit on how much space one expects to live in for the foreseeable future, then one is less likely to acquire vast quantities of unneeded shit. I vote for a neighborhood that is not so bad that you feel afraid coming home from work after dark. Those are my two ideas. Good luck and *hug*!

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

After living in East Orange, I fear nothing except possibly Bed-Stuy. And it's too far from anything to even be under consideration. :D

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Have I mentioned recently how much we miss your brilliance and insight? *sniffle*

[spride.livejournal.com]

One is therefore in NYC for why?

[crypticgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm another vote for a smaller place first. I've done this myself, though admittedly that's due to budget constraints combined with a desire not to commute from outer woop-woop rather than genuine choice.

As happy accidents go, this has been a Really Good Thing for me. It's given me enough space to have my necessary stuff but not so much that I feel like I'm rattling around on my own. That last bit is especially important: psychologically, I've found living alone to be a very different experience. I don't have someone to come home to for a de-brief or a hug. I can call people, or meet up with them after work or whatever, but it's not quite the same. I'm not sure I can articulate why, but I think having a larger space would have made adjusting to that reality more daunting. It certainly would have encouraged me to withdraw from the people around me.

I also think living in a nicer area has helped me to feel more steady. Your Freakouts May Vary, but when I get into an emotional funk everything that's even a slight problem in my life can come into play even if it's not relevant to the issue from whence the wibble came. In retrospect, I think living in an area where I didn't feel quite safe would have made my emotional state much worse.

Of course your situation may vary. Just food for thought.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

I don't have to do it every goddamn night.

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

I've seen some places here recently that were really far too small for anyone but a tiny student priced at "Daddy is rich and footing the bill".

I lived in one of those my first year on my own, and I do not recommend it. (Even if it was a 10-to-15-minute walk to work.)

Or possibly "we are sleeping four to a bed".

My understanding is that that (tenements for the poor) is what such buildings are before the tiny students with rich parents move in.

[blarglefiend.livejournal.com]

Ah, around here it's more code for "Asian students whose parents aren't rich". There's apparently a certain amount of "hot-bedding" going on: that is, they take it in shifts.

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

hey kids, did you know that Fifth Ave. just north of Washington Square is part of SoHo?

That is a much more special and blatant sort of Doing It Wrong than I ever saw in a listing.

As for brokers: I did fine(ish) without them, and my recollection is that it didn't seem like I was missing out on too much, but I could be wrong; and the market may have changed since I was in it last (early 2004 and 2005).

As for space: for what it's worth, I found it easier to justify moving out of a place that turned out to be just too tiny than one that was too large and had some less glaring shortcomings that could maybe have been fixed by trading off some of that unused space. (Granted, this is not the most statistically impeccable sample here, but there may be something to it.)

[caelfinn.livejournal.com]

Bed Stuy is quite nice these days, it's East New York you want to be afraid of.

[caelfinn.livejournal.com]

Oh, except that the subwayage isn't so great for some of it (bed stuy, I mean).

[caelfinn.livejournal.com]

I vote for a nicer neighborhood and (if necessary) a smaller place. If I recall correctly, you have not lived alone before. I think it is a great thing to do, but there is an adjustment period. I think it is important to support yourself psychologically as much as possible by putting yourself in a lovely area where you enjoy wandering around window shopping and drinking cups of tea at local cafes etc. Be good to yourself. As Missionista said, later you can find a kick ass apartment with space for all of your craftiness.

Remember, the fact that the sales market is for shit means that there are more (and maybe cheaper) rentals available). I haven't looked into it in detail, but in the past there have been times when there is a rental glut in NYC (yes Virginia, there is an apartment!)

As for brokers, try first without. In my experience it is good if your boss is flexible about letting you go see things in the daytime during work. If you can be the first person to see it and say "yes, I want it" and give them money on the spot, you'll get it. I don't know how your work situation is but if you are comfortable telling your boss you are looking for an apt. and may have to disappear at short notice it may help.

Oh and being *ahem* self-employed at the moment means I can come with you if you need moral support. Please call anytime!

Best of luck!

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

…but there is an adjustment period. I think it is important to support yourself psychologically as much as possible by putting yourself in a lovely area where you enjoy wandering around window shopping and drinking cups of tea at local cafes etc.

I have to agree with this — in my own experience of a neighborhood that was nice but where I clearly didn't fit in[*], when I was having the all-alone-in-the-world woes for other reasons, the location really didn't help with that. It's the kind of thing that's too easy to overlook when hunting real estate, I think.

[*] To wit, lots of middle-aged parents and small children and the occasional old ladies sitting on the sidewalk in lawn chairs glaring at me.

[tayefeth.livejournal.com]

This is something I forgot about when clicking my replies. Take your time when looking. From what I've heard, the housing market is sufficiently suckish, even in NYC, that you don't really have to worry about All The Apartments Will Vanish Overnight OMG! So talk to the neighbors, the folks at the laundromat, and the teenagers hanging out on the corner before you make a decision. Oh, and visit the neighborhood at night, as well as during the day for the best readings on freakout levels...

[missionista.livejournal.com]

Oh, potato, I miss you too! *huge hugs*

[nancaurelia.livejournal.com]

Here's still another vote for location over size this time around. I think that you can do it without a broker only if you know someone, and in that case you usually need to bribe the super. I hope you find something fabulous!

[caelfinn.livejournal.com]

Ah ha! Check out this (http://blogs.wsj.com/developments/2009/01/07/rents-fall-across-us-biggest-drops-in-new-york-city-miami/) article from the WSJ (no subscription needed). Rents are falling in NYC. Who knows, you might even be in a position to negotiate!