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serindeAbove quote referring to yesterday's experience at Six Flags Great Adventure, during a discussion on how all amusement parks are in the habit of raping the customer, but that Disneyworld (for example) is a kind and considerate rapist who is clean and nice-smelling and leaves flowers on your pillow afterwards, whereas Great Adventure is a definite full-bore prison rape.
First off, the entry fee is close on $50. It's true that every Coke can in the tri-state area gives you $10 off, but that's still a pretty chunk of money. Then there's $10 for parking (an additional $5 to get into the "preferred lot", which is actually close to the entrance). Once inside, there are a certain number of rides (if you can find them in between the endless ranks of midway games), many of which are closed for some reason, and many more of which cost extra to enjoy; and the occasional one which will break down just as you get to the head of the half-hour line.
Ah, the lines. Let me say a few words about them...Now, I know perfectly well that popular rides are called so for a reason, and that a lot of people attend amusement parks during the summer, and that a park's flagship coaster(s) will see heavy use. Therefore, I'm certainly prepared for extended wait times on shit-hot roller coasters on an August weekend. However, when every single ride in the park has a minimum half-hour wait--from the old junky roller coasters to the bumper cars to the stupid spinning teacups--I know that there is severe fuckage somewhere. (The big-name coasters had 1-3 hour wait times, of course.) After careful observation--we had plenty of time to observe, after all--it was clear that volume of people were not the problem, but rather that the park is woefully understaffed and the staff they do have do not manage the queues efficiently.
An example: the ferris wheel, about 9pm. It's a 36-car item, each car fitting up to six people. There were, perhaps, 50-75 people in line. Yet on one revolution, 15 of the cars were left empty, and on the next one, even fewer were in use (that is, they let people out of some cars but didn't fill them again). And in spite of the endless vistas of empty cars, they forced smaller groups to combine. If they'd just filled the damn wheel, they would have cleared out their backlog in one or possibly two cycles. Instead, we had to wait for--guess how long--half an hour.
Lest you think these lines are unusual and we were just unlucky, the park sells a device called a "Q-Bot" which is, in effect, a legalized line-jumping system. You pay $20 (an additional $10 per extra person to use it), go to a ride with a long line, swipe it across the wossname, and it tells you to come back in X minutes. At that time, you come back, swipe the device at the s3kr1t entrance, and lo! you jump to the head of the line. Isn't that charming?
And then there was the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home, turning a 1.5 hour journey into a 4-hour extravaganza that got me to bed around two a.m. Such delight.
I phoned to cancel my plans with Beth this evening (and go home to collapse), only to find that a happy wanderer we met at Pennsic and promised crash space & tour-guide-ism to when he came through is arriving today. So I must needs meet them for a drink after work. Hope he doesn't mind comatose company.
First off, the entry fee is close on $50. It's true that every Coke can in the tri-state area gives you $10 off, but that's still a pretty chunk of money. Then there's $10 for parking (an additional $5 to get into the "preferred lot", which is actually close to the entrance). Once inside, there are a certain number of rides (if you can find them in between the endless ranks of midway games), many of which are closed for some reason, and many more of which cost extra to enjoy; and the occasional one which will break down just as you get to the head of the half-hour line.
Ah, the lines. Let me say a few words about them...Now, I know perfectly well that popular rides are called so for a reason, and that a lot of people attend amusement parks during the summer, and that a park's flagship coaster(s) will see heavy use. Therefore, I'm certainly prepared for extended wait times on shit-hot roller coasters on an August weekend. However, when every single ride in the park has a minimum half-hour wait--from the old junky roller coasters to the bumper cars to the stupid spinning teacups--I know that there is severe fuckage somewhere. (The big-name coasters had 1-3 hour wait times, of course.) After careful observation--we had plenty of time to observe, after all--it was clear that volume of people were not the problem, but rather that the park is woefully understaffed and the staff they do have do not manage the queues efficiently.
An example: the ferris wheel, about 9pm. It's a 36-car item, each car fitting up to six people. There were, perhaps, 50-75 people in line. Yet on one revolution, 15 of the cars were left empty, and on the next one, even fewer were in use (that is, they let people out of some cars but didn't fill them again). And in spite of the endless vistas of empty cars, they forced smaller groups to combine. If they'd just filled the damn wheel, they would have cleared out their backlog in one or possibly two cycles. Instead, we had to wait for--guess how long--half an hour.
Lest you think these lines are unusual and we were just unlucky, the park sells a device called a "Q-Bot" which is, in effect, a legalized line-jumping system. You pay $20 (an additional $10 per extra person to use it), go to a ride with a long line, swipe it across the wossname, and it tells you to come back in X minutes. At that time, you come back, swipe the device at the s3kr1t entrance, and lo! you jump to the head of the line. Isn't that charming?
And then there was the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home, turning a 1.5 hour journey into a 4-hour extravaganza that got me to bed around two a.m. Such delight.
I phoned to cancel my plans with Beth this evening (and go home to collapse), only to find that a happy wanderer we met at Pennsic and promised crash space & tour-guide-ism to when he came through is arriving today. So I must needs meet them for a drink after work. Hope he doesn't mind comatose company.
