Empty, empty, empty

[serinde]

1) Numbness
2) Irritation
3) Deflection via sarcasm
4) Twitchiness
5) Breaking down and howling during the funeral

I am currently at #1, with forays into or, perhaps more accurately, waves of #2 and #3 periodically breaking over me. Especially in regard to travel arrangements. The bloody airlines' idea of a "compassionate fare" is to drop the price from $1k to $600. Fuckers. (There is a $68 weekend special going where I want, mirabile dictu, but that is Saturday => Monday only. Dandy for the memorial service, but the funeral looks like it's going to be Friday. Not helpful.)

Apathy breaks long enough to realize this post is missing a foundation fact. If anyone's still reading at this point, let me give you some context: my grandpa died this morning. This was not, as may be gathered from previous posts, a bolt from the blue; and I have had some time to get used to the idea, though I had thought (feared? both.) that his body would likely outlast his mind at the rate things were going...which could be considered equivalent to death, or it could not, depending on your point of view. I'm not sure where mine is. I think I'm babbling, and will stop now.

Comments

[missionista.livejournal.com]

My sympathies to you and your family. Let me know if you need anything.