serinde

I feel vaguely like an idiot. My grand moment of clarity which let me know the root cause of various emotionally overwrought outbursts (and inbursts--some only my cats are aware of) over the last N time periods illuminated that said cause was...something I'd actually thought to myself on several occasions before. For some reason, though, it only became real when I told someone else. I'm not quite sure I grok that. But I still feel dumb, because if I thought that was what it was, why the hell didn't I tell someone before this so the problem could get worked on?

Oh yeah. 'Cause it sounds petty and lame, it's quite irrational, and I felt I should be able to drown it out with logic, reason, and reassurance.

It's kind of funny how it's much easier to speak long and earnestly to others about the legitimacy of all feelings, including and especially the illogically-based ones, and how human beings aren't rational creatures, and all that than it is to apply those truisms to your own psyche.

(For those of you wondering: this doesn't have anything to do with