Warning: introspection ahead

[serinde]

I started working through "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" this morning; did the four "pre-instruction" sketches on the train, which have the purpose of giving you a before-and-after comparison once you're done. They are:

1. a portrait of someone (I did Steve reading)
   
2. "draw a person" without looking at anyone (this turned out to be an indeterminate-gender person leaning on a small tree)
   
3. your off-hand
   
4. a chair. (I actually didn't do that one on the train, for reasons I hope should be obvious.)
   

Steve chortled when he saw #2. When I demanded to know what was so funny (I _knew_ it was bad, but...) he said "I noticed you drew him with a mullet." :-P

His only other comment was "so you're going through all this just so you can make a drawing of your D&D character?" *hmph* I know that a good part of the reason I married him was because he can see right through me; I'm just trying to remember WHY THAT'S A FEATURE...


Just as when I'd first bought the book way back in high school, I had serious lizard-brain issues trying to get going on this. It trips into a crippling-embarrassment bit that I've had since I was pretty small, and I don't know _why_. I'm not even sure what it _is_, even, I can only define it by what it makes me not do. Like, drawing someone I know...or seeing pictures of myself (photo or sketch)...or singing in front of people (even though I know I can carry a tune)...or dancing. Obviously this is some kind of self-consciousness problem, judging from the last two, but I'm not sure how the first two tie in to that.

And then there's the extra value-added fun where I can get embarrassed on someone else's behalf, even though they're not, and (here's the kicker) _when all they're doing is something that would make *me* selfconscious if *I* was doing it_. My personal problems are bad enough, but that one is a total bullshit issue and must be destroyed, because I will NOT be the rain on someone else's parade.

I have no idea how one is supposed to eradicate problems like this.


Saturday is Pooky's birthday. As usual I have no idea what to get him. :)

ObMusic: I'm so glad that someone is making good ol' doofy rock-n-roll about parties and sex again. Whiny angsty nu-metal delenda est.

Comments

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Hey, at least it doesn't take you six months to make a single lousy phone call because you've got an idiotic aversion to asking people for things.

*cough* Um, actually...

Oh, and next time we go dancing, damnit.

Presumably next time I won't have poison ivy and you won't be nerve pinched, so I daresay it can be arranged. :)

[blarglefiend.livejournal.com]

Sheesh. Why am I not surprised? And which idiot came up with "opposites attract"?