Holiday recap; or, open another bottle of wine, goddammit

[serinde]

My "I am not doing any WORK" dinner evolved into making sourdough bread from scratch, roasting two ducks, making pie and super-dense chocolate cake, and over-cooking the asparagus...for seven diners. This seems to be some kind of psychological disorder on my part; I just can't help myself. Kitchen is a disaster area. Oh well.

For the rest of it, though, we enacted a form of Drunken Movie Night. Only, rather than going silly-bad => rotten-bad, we did "good", "fun", and "OMFG please stab my eyes out with a salad fork"--i.e., Sin City followed by Robocop followed by, God help me, Daredevil.

I had always intended to see that last, for train-wreck reasons; I have been carrying around a sick fascination, a need to see for myself just how awful it truly was. Indeed, by all accounts, it was a terrible movie even if you didn't have anything emotionally invested in the character--how much worse, then, for those of us who do? But I wasn't prepared for the depths of horror that awaited. Nothing could prepare you for that, except perhaps a few nights of having your head flossed with razor wire.

I screamed. I writhed on the floor. I clawed at my hair and eyes. I gestured frantically for my glass to be refilled, that I might escape to sweet oblivion. THERE WAS NO SANCTUARY.

(I think the worst of it is that, clearly, the perpetrator of this abomination knew all of the best sources and used them--he freely lifted dialogue and situations from Miller's run--but, with his unique gift, managed to take these elements of pure gold and distill them into a stream of diseased toxic waste. You'd think something of the original quality would have shone through, but no.)

Eli and jdev have managed to stagger into work with me. dariodevil had to drink a lot more to survive the movies, poor lamb, and is failing to arise from his bed. Now that is a successful Thanksgiving.

Edit: A look at the numbers that shape your world--3.5 bottles of wine, approx. 21 bottles of beer, and 2 large dark'n'stormies consumed.

Comments

[dagnycat522.livejournal.com]

[info]dariodevil had to drink a lot more to survive the movies, poor lamb, and is failing to arise from his bed. Now that is a successful Thanksgiving.

Around 11:30, I tried to convince him it would be a good idea to set his alarm. He was slurring his words by then, and I figured my advice would be ignored!

Also, dark'n'stormies? I remember having this drink years ago. What's in it?

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Oh, he did actually wake up (texted me at 8:30am). He just couldn't move, apparently. I charitably withheld my deadly ninja I Told You So attack.

Dark'n'Stormy = rum + ginger beer. Though we were using ginger ale, because there is no sense on wasting the good stuff on a movie like that.

[rainbear.livejournal.com]

Yeah.. I mean.. I just didn't get it. I mean, I kinda liked the cool eyesight-effect they did, that was CGI goodness. But.. I didn't understand why Sidney Bristow was throwing sai's around and kissing Shannon Hamilton, who was running around in tights and a baton thingy.

Just c0nfzzl3d me to no end. Though, Colin Farrell was t3h hawtn3ss! *w00f*--He just wore too many clothes, I say!

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

This is definitely a case where ignorance = bliss. If you knew what they were drawing from, it was like a continuous procession of hydrochloric acid enemas.

Colin Farrell = nice bod and lovely accent (even if I don't dig the shaven-head look), but oh my Christ was he wildly miscast for the character. Of course, so was everyone else. I can only assume the perpetrator picked up a cocktail napkin where a bunch of drunk comic fans had scribbled down their picks for Worst Casting Choices EVAR.

[rainbear.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I thought my tongue was firmly implanted into my cheek. I was quite a DD fan when I was younger, and before Wally World decided that MarHell had to ditch all "morally improper" relationship (like, *gasp* l1v1ng 1n s11111n!).

The Sidney Bristow and Shannon Hamilton comments were aimed at the lackluster acting performances by the repsective characters.

And Colin Farrell should just wear no clothes, IMHO. ;-) Or, at least wear tights so we can all dr00lz at the screen. ;-)

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

Though, Colin Farrell was t3h hawtn3ss!

NMK. However, I could have done with more Naked Ben Affleck. (And I dimly recall having voiced this opinion at the time, at least once.)

[rainbear.livejournal.com]

NMK? I do not know that one...

Ben Affleck's ok. He's hotter than Matt Damon, IMO, at least. :)

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

NMK = "Not My Kink".

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

NMK? I do not know that one...

Not My Kink — the longer form so referenced being “YKIOK, IJNMK” (http://www.google.com/search?q=ykiok-ijnmk). Often used, usually with humorous intent, for things that are not, strictly speaking, a kink.

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

My excuse here is that LJ makes it much harder than Usenet to read the rest of the thread before responding (or even to notice that there is a rest of the thread).

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

If you did, I missed it. But then, I was not aware of much outside my agony.

I'm not averse to Naked Ben Affleck myself...but ZOMG NOT AS DAREDEVIL. Wah.

[dkfromtk.livejournal.com]

I've seen Daredevil exactly once, not counting flipping through the channels and randomly stopping on Jennifer Garner.

The best part was looking forward to hearing Dario rip apart every facet of it.

Mission goddamn accomplished.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

randomly stopping on Jennifer Garner

That first scene where she walks into the diner, with her blonde highlights and stuff, and Our Team Of Intrepid Lawyers stops to stare at her? I turned to Dario and said "Please tell me that that is not supposed to be Elektra. PLEASE."

He gave a dark, bitter laugh, utterly without humor.

I screamed.

[dkfromtk.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes, I remember that scene well.

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

I think I recall, at one point during the evening, someone complaining that some plot point which was supposed to affect them in a deep emotional manner utterly failed to, or something along those lines.

And so, for some future instance of Bad Movie Night, I suggest: Antitrust (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218817/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnx0dD0xfGZiPXV8cG49MHxrdz0xfHE9QW50aXRydXN0fGZ0PTF8bXg9MjB8bG09NTAwfGNvPTF8aHRtbD0xfG5tPTE_;fc=1;ft=23;fm=1).

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

...the. hell.

(Well, it's got Rachael Leigh Cook, so dariodevil will be on board, at least.)