hot!lesbian!medical!action!

[serinde]

This morning (early early morning) was slotted for taking naudia in for her gall bladder surgery. Should have been fairly simple, you would think: stagger to car, drive to hospital 15 minutes away, wait with her until they take her to the room where the magic happens.

Naturally, there were complications.

In this case, those came in the form of the OR nurses, at T-30m., declaring that per hospital policy all of her piercings Must Absolutely Come Out. All of them. (In spite of the people at her pre-op appointment saying "oh, okay, titanium, fine".) She has many, all captive-ball. After fruitless argument, we said "bring forth a pair of needlenose pliers and they shall be taken out."

I will kindly draw a veil over the ensuing Keystone Kops routine, and leave the Gentle Reader with the final image: me crouched between naudia's nekkid legs, on a hospital gurney, removing her labial rings with a pair of surgical clamps. [Pre-order your copy of the DVD now for only $19.95!]

It is moments like these that make me wonder why I sometimes feel my life is too staid and pedestrian.

Comments

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

Trigger sequence from the Yellow Submarine movie, where Ringo is amid all the weirdness of the Beatles house and complaining that "compared to my life, Eleanor Rigby's was a gay mad whirl" or words to that effect. ;)

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

D'you know, I haven't seen Yellow Submarine since I was about six. (And I so completely failed to understand a bit of what I was seeing then.)

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

Mental picture...

must scrub out mental picture!

!!!!

[sweh.livejournal.com]

Hey, this is going to be the basis of their next porn shoot!

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

It is moments like these that make me wonder why I sometimes feel my life is too staid and pedestrian.

It's because you live in New Jersey. HTH!

[kalimar.livejournal.com]

Many well wishes all around :) Gall bladder surgery is no fun but it's not horrible either...

[missionista.livejournal.com]

Oh, no! How awful! However, given my distance from the whole situation, hysterically funny as well. Someday, you will look back and laugh.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Oh, the comedic aspect did not escape either of us, believe me. Still a certain amount of annoyance over the time-wasting and fuss; but definitely hilarious.

[briony530.livejournal.com]

Heck, I'm only an hour away and I'm laughing hysterically. OMG. T, you are One Good Friend.

[otherwise-nyc.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you were able to see the hilarity in such an annoying situation!

They wanted me to remove my piercings when they put in my stent. My two captive-ball piercings, in my ear and my eyebrow! I was all "nuh-uh" and they were all "yeah" and I just argued until they gave up. They were fussing about "sterility" and I said "Look, you are not anywhere *near* my eyebrow, and you aren't "sterilizing" the other one, are you?" and stuff like that.

IDIOTS!

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

These guys had a slightly better reason, to wit, they are going to be doing electro-cauterization on the various blood vessels inside, so electric current + metal piercings = possible burns. And, I mean, I have dealt with enough idiot users to believe that for every patient who is correct in stating that s/he has a non-conductive piercing, there are ten who are Very Very Wrong.

But I really doubt it would conduct from her belly up to her earlobes.

[briony530.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a shame medical pros can't trust patients to really understand this sort of stuff, but they have to guard against stupidity.

Hope the patient is doing well and is comfortable. My best to her.

And the poster below is right...you should totally send this story to Scrubs or Grey's Anatomy as an idea. 15 minutes of totally anonymous fame could be yours!

[nancaurelia.livejournal.com]

Oh, my. I'm sure that she was very happy that you were with her. And yeah, it makes a great story.

And if it's any comfort, a friend of mine recently told me that she's had absolutely no trouble with her gall bladder... since she had it removed. Hopefully that will be Naudia's experience too.

[scavgraphics.livejournal.com]

I think I saw this SCRUBS episode.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

I was thinking that the entire time.

[dkfromtk.livejournal.com]

And I bet you didn't even think to take some pictures.

Dammit.