Math is hard, let's be in agony; or, a N-GIP

[serinde]

In spite of the fact that my cycle has almost universally been a steady 26 days, and in spite of the fact that I started a whole separate Google Calendar to track it, I was still taken utterly unawares by grinding awful cramps on the subway this morning. Fortunately, this is an area in which I have successfully gamed my weaknesses, and I have all the appropriate supplies in my desk.

Oh, little 8-hour stick-on heating pads, how I love you. I do not know how I survived without you for so many years.

Have duly logged this event, whereupon I find that the next instance will be on Christmas Eve (and therefore, Christmas Day == Crimson Tide). Fuck you, body, fuck you very much.

Comments

[sbp.livejournal.com]

Are those heating pads useful? I have lady friends who get the great pain on a regular basis who might be interested.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Dear God, yes. If I rely on painkillers, I have to take a double dose (800mg) of ibuprofen to function at all, and I'm still uncomfortable. Curling up with a heating pad gets me to the functional level, and if I have heating pad + regular painkiller dose, I barely notice anything's amiss.

[missionista.livejournal.com]

Heating pads=all things good.

[(Anonymous)]

its much better to be a man.

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

Its much better to be a man.

[nancaurelia.livejournal.com]

Nonsense. Two words. Multiple Orgasms.

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

Pish posh. Three words "Peeing standing up"

[nancaurelia.livejournal.com]

Well, they sell little devices that supposedly permit us to do that, but they sounds like more trouble than they're worth.

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

pwnt. ;)

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

I can do that.

Well, when wearing a skirt anyways.

[briony530.livejournal.com]

Given nancaurelia's contribution, I don't see peeing standing up as being of comperable value.

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

yes, but...i pee standing up every day. How often do you have multiples?

[nancaurelia.livejournal.com]

Can't... type... too busy laughing gleefully!

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

EVERY DAY, BABY!

[lillilah]

Doesn't it seem like the most annoying part of being a chick (horrible cramps and bleeding) goes away around the same time that being a guy gets potentially more sketchy (prostate)?

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I hear menopause is as bad or potentially worse than what it replaces...

[cobrawoman.livejournal.com]

Mileages vary, but I'd say you hear wrong. There's a point where hormones are in flux and it's disorienting, but then it's over and very nice indeed.

[lillilah]

OMG, I know you!! (I'm Felicia.) Is it okay if I friend you?

[lillilah]

It doesn't last that long, does it?

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, men seem to come off better in this department. While our lil' man tate may start getting cranky, and the get up and go may get up and leave, we don't have issues like breast cancer and the uterine cancer women have to deal with.

[missionista.livejournal.com]

Actually, our lovely correspondent has neglected to mention the intensely vivid and cool dreams that also show up with the cycle. That plus all the other things--so much better to be a woman.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Wah! I don't get those! I feel robbed.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Preposterous. It is better to be a man than a woman simply because being a woman almost invariably means putting up with men.

[tayefeth.livejournal.com]

Peeing standing up does not at all compare to multiple orgasms, breastfeeding, and not wearing one's gonads out where they can get squashed.

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

Hey now. Men can have multiple orgasms too.

We just need to get up, have a sammich, watch some football, and then come back after a 6 hour rest.

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

I must confess I don't get the reference in the userpic.

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Ecce! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cramps)

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*. Why, that's almost obvious.