serinde: (brew-up)
[personal profile] serinde
For the past week or so, I've been struggling through a whole pile of mental/emotional bees, the form and content of which I shall not weary the Gentle Reader with. I have Gotten Things Done, but not as much as I should like (or as was really necessary), and every damn inch was as hotly contested as your average portion of Western Front entrenchment. Even this morning I was in a state that could, with tolerable accuracy, be described as "a fucking mess" (as poor [livejournal.com profile] sweh can bear witness to).

And then, this afternoon, I did tons of packing and organization and cooking and helped [livejournal.com profile] nedlnthred rake up the winter detritus in the front yard and Lord knows what else (except laundry). And felt good through all of it. Though now that I stop to reflect, I have a vaguely-unsteady feeling, like if I look around too hard I'll realize I'm running on thin air and then plummet down in approved coyote fashion.

Hopefully I can maintain this; there is still a lot to do and perilously little time to do it in. Tomorrow night is given over to getting taxes done (and picking up Scuzzy from the vet? I hope), Tuesday night I am meeting with the moving people so they can quote how much I shall be soaked for this endeavor, etc. etc. It is, as they say, a long way to Tipperary.

Date: 2009-03-23 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sweh.livejournal.com
Lady, this might help you...

What if you don't move on the desired date? *shrug* you pay rent on a place you're not using. Or you move part of your stuff... *shrug* you need to get friends to help you with a van some later point.

You've actually done the critical part; you've signed the contract. The rest? No rush. Beth's not going to throw you out :-)

I sometimes get the feeling that I've infected you with a sense of stress that you didn't previously have. Just because I want to do things perfectly first time every time doesn't mean I expect that from anyone else (since I fail at it I can hardly expect others to do what I don't). And, sometimes, I think you try to live up to my ideals. Well, lady, they're not realistic.

One of the things I've learned about work and dealing with higher-ups is "expectation management"; you learn to present information upwards in such a way that they don't expect too much from you. In personal life, you need to manage your own expectations. If something seems impossible then break down the problem and determine what needs be done, what would be nice to be done, what is guilding. I've made the joke before that when traveling all you need is a passport and credit card; everything else is "nice to have" or a luxury. This also applies in other areas.

All I need to do is learn how to apply this lesson to myself :-)

Date: 2009-03-23 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arkham1010.livejournal.com
you need a drink. A big one.

Date: 2009-03-23 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nancaurelia.livejournal.com
Sweh's advice is excellent. Is it possible that some of your current stress is not about the logistics, but about how "real" this change is becoming?

Date: 2009-03-23 07:29 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-03-23 06:02 pm (UTC)
lillilah: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lillilah
Sometimes I get fixated on a plan and don't realize that I don't actually have to follow that plan. I totally agree with [livejournal.com profile] sweh. Is it honestly worth driving yourself to a breakdown just to get into an apartment by the date you have picked? IMHO, you have gone through some pretty sucky shit recently, so you should be focusing on taking care of yourself and getting firmly on the road to being happy. Realizing that you are a fucking mess is a good start, but perhaps it is time to do something about it.

Date: 2009-03-23 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caelfinn.livejournal.com
In some ways you are in a luxurious position. You can move in a little at a time and see what really works in the apartment instead of being forced to bring ALL of your stuff at the beginning.

You've got a car and friends to help you. Move in the things you know for sure you must have, live there a few weeks and then call out the troops and we can help you move in (or out) anything else that makes it work better for you. PS: If you need a bigger vehicle zipcar has SUVs (and even a pickup truck!) by the hour and we're members so we can get one.

PPS: Great point sweh, I always have to be reminded about the "passport and credit card" thing. It's totally true.

Date: 2009-03-23 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missionista.livejournal.com
Add my voice to the chorus of "yes, sweh's right."

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